A different direction.....

Recently, I have been having some issues with my shoulder. That, added to the constant pain in my hip has pushed me to make yet another decision to change my diet and lifestyle to try and combat these issues if I can. All that I've read points to the elimination of several things from my diet and adding more of what is anti-inflammatory.

I bought Ross Bridgeford's "The Alkaline Reset Cleanse" several months ago and started following the guidelines but true to form I quit. Hopefully, this time I will continue on, since I'm going to document my success.

Day 1

Woke up this morning in a semi-state of depression. I have been battling "the beast" for several days now. Contributing factors are family issues and health issues. Family issues that I have no control over and health issues that I do have control over. Dr. Christiane Northrup states in her blog post concerning arthritis that all pain has it's roots in emotions. With arthritis it is fear and anger. Fear...of what? Angry at what?  I guess I must consider this when trying to heal my body. I feel I have all the needed "ingredients" I just need to "take" them and appropriate them for myself.

So today, I am picking  "The Alkaline Reset Cleanse" back up and starting over from page one. I desperately want to feel better, have less pain and lose a bit of weight. I don't want to move into my golden years and be sick. I refuse to accept that this is inevitable.

Observations:

1. Coffee is going to be hard to give up.

2. Sugar...is going to be hard to give up.

3. Corn doesn't like me...yet I love corn chips. Give me corn chips and salsa and I would be happy for the rest of my life. Note to self: Don't buy corn chips.

4. This will require a commitment and I'm really not good at extended commitment. The only things I have ever stuck with are marriage and children. Probably not entirely true...I have continued with specific hobbies for many years. But making lasting efforts with diet, no. I tend to fall back into the comfortable routines we've had for years. (As I reheat my coffee with cream and sugar for the third time this morning.)

5. No NSAIDS. This is hard. Seriously. No pain relievers?

6. I need to drink more water. This is perplexing to me. Why it's so hard for me to drink more water?

7. How does one get rid of anger when it's been a pretty constant companion for most of your life. I really can't remember a time when I wasn't angry or on the verge of anger. How do you determine why you're angry and how to get rid of that anger?

8. Practice gratitude....there is a tremendous amount to be thankful for. (Another blog post for sure.)

Last year my word for the year was kindness. I didn't learn to show kindness to myself. Perhaps I should continue with KINDNESS as my word for 2020.

I have always seen myself as a mean person, Seriously. Maybe this has come from a wounded and hurt (unhealed) spirit that lashes out and rejects before she can be rejected. Can I trace this back to anything in my past? I'm sure I can..the universal feeling we all feel when growing up of not feeling accepted, but first and foremost I don't accept myself. I don't even like myself. I have to live in a body, a brain, a mind and spirit that I don't like. How ridiculous is that?  How does one begin to like oneself after so many years of not? How can one expect affection and love when they don't give that to themselves? Too many questions for this fine Thursday. I need to end this here.......more tomorrow.

Cindy